


Drowned Waters

by Ceruleander



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Levi's POV, Lies, M/M, Rating May Change, Romance, Singing Levi, Slow Build, Some angst, Spirit AU, Supernatural Elements, blind!Erwin, slow seduction, spirit!levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 19:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3393518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceruleander/pseuds/Ceruleander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That man was the only person who could see him.<br/>And at the same time, he was the only one who could not. </p><p>…<br/>In which Levi is a forest spirit and Erwin a young man who just moved into the countryside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silver Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven’t even finished my other fic, but I just had to write this. It’s been on my mind for days and uugggh, yeah.  
> This… _thing_ was loosely based on hotarubi no mori e and natsume yuujinchou. Loosely, I swear.
> 
> Now, please enjoy!

Soft, quiet but ever-present; the soundless humming that echoed through the almost absolute silence of the evening, silence as such only found in places where creatures like himself roamed freely, fearlessly; where sunlight never dug its claws into the soil and into virgin lands untouched by the hands of men. Tender, low but always audible; the gentle singing that filled the void of the silent, beautiful night in front of his silver orbs; the same greedy night that hungrily swallowed the faces of the forest, trees and water, coating everything in thick layers of unbreakable darkness.

Morning eventually comes, and it’s everything but quiet, everything but hushed words in low voices, everything but harmonious notes flying through the air into the placid ears of whoever wishes to listen—less tender, less desirable, even less compelling despite the liveliness that usually surfaces during those young hours of day. More like a cacophony of noises, loud and rough voices that take over the silence and flood the forest as though they were a voracious, destructive plague—and in truth, they _are_ a plague for his ears, a plague for his soul humbly searching for only peace and tranquility.

Spirits of the forest gather around every morning to dance cheerfully, sing obstreperously; celebrating the eternity that lies behind their young visages and the eternity that is to come. Nothing but a thundering, piercing, _deafening_ commotion that welcomes the jolly and pushes away the reserved—leaving them with no other place than their own silent minds. He is one of those lonely spirits, who gazes upon the passing of time with half lidded eyes and sends his words high up and beyond, at the starry sky that always graces him with its company even during the most lonesome nights.

Eternal wasn _'_ t enough to describe the world that lives, transits and dies right before the young spirit’s eyes—the centuries that have passed by and which have shaped the path for the world that exists now in this particular time and age, modern, practical and systematic; after centuries and centuries of constant evolution, seen in everything that surrounds him.

Everything evolves, changes.

And it’s painful—it’s painful because as _eternal_ as eternity might feel, it’s actually just a second of a minute of an hour of a day of a year of a century that keeps running, that keeps quickly slipping away, because time is messed up and unfair and _cruel_ , it won’t stop—it will _never_ stop. He’s immortal, he will keep on witnessing the things around him—the things he has grown to love—perish, but won’t even see a wrinkle carve its way up on his pale face, won’t even see his reflection in a lake and notice a milky whiteness coating his raven hair, won’t even feel the effects of age restraining his movements and stealing away his youthfulness, his will to live.

He was young for being a spirit. His soul had been born along with the forest only some centuries ago, but that time had been enough to show him how fleeting and ephemeral life could be. The constant change of seasons was just like the transition between day and night, and the pass of years was but a mere second— _of course_ he was used to change by now. The tiny forest where he had been born had grown up to be full of enormous trees and to be the home of populations of different species, species that became smaller and smaller with time until they completely disappeared.

That was the work of men.

Men were… interesting creatures. Hange used to talk about them all the time. He was told they were fragile, weak, petty, but at the same time incredibly prideful and greedy, and even though their lives were short, they still insisted on filling themselves with riches and mundane possessions. They went against nature, proclaiming themselves as the dominant race while destructing everything they touched. He, himself, had read things about them in the books Hange lent him. He had seen that humans always changed; their customs, their beliefs, their appearance, their language… but at the same time, they never did. And it was painful, it was painful because even humans, who had such a _fleeting_ life, never changed. Humanity was  _eternal_. They would transcend time, always being those little vicious, selfish, flawed creatures with the same set of emotions and the same general objectives—power, pleasure, satisfaction, growth, whatever could make them feel more than insignificant insects trapped in the overwhelming enormousness of the world.

He had seen many men during his lifetime. Some were just passbyers or villagers who were trying to walk their way out of the forest; some others were intruders who wanted to take with them some part of it. However, it wasn’t right to say they had _met._  They had never exchanged words. Men couldn’t see him. Men couldn’t see any of the other spirits, for that matter. That's what he had been told; that's what he had concluded after observing them for hours, days, centuries. They just didn’t posses the sense to do it, which was extremely ironic because even animals could sense them. And that’s what he’d grown to think.

Until, of course, he was proven wrong.

 

[-x-]

 

It was a quiet evening, the typical celebrations of the morning had already died out and the forest was as silent as it could get before the curtain of nighttime fell to signal the end of yet another lonesome day. The sweet scent of rain, which carried a tinge of the freshness of morning and the heaviness of night, clouded his nostrils and blinded his senses for a couple of hours—hours spent resting his back on a tree while sitting on the grass in front of a beautiful lake, and staring at the leaves of nearby trees falling on the water before floating away into the distance.  

It was peacefully, refreshingly quiet. 

Closing his eyes, he parted his lips and sang; he sang and sang, tunes from ancient times stained with nostalgia, his voice filling the emptiness of the lake, the forest, and the sky gazing down at him; he sang and sang, and the leaves and trees and birds and waters all lent him their ears, listening intently and deeply enjoying the sweet, honey-laced voice that every evening, before night fell, lulled them to sleep. He sang, and the world quieted down only so it could hear his enchanting voice; he sang and sang, patiently waiting for night to come, for when the starts would pop up and shine through the darkness. 

He sang, trying to forget. 

And then he sang no more, for an overwhelming feeling of sadness overtook him. The echoes of the forest slowly died out into the void, a sharp, empty silence clashing against the dreaminess that all the creatures of the forest had found themselves in. A couple of hours passed, the spirit looking up at the clouds swimming in the sky, drawing in the distinct, fluffy shapes that constantly changed into almost-known forms.

Looking away from the sky after some time, he noticed in the far edge of the lake a strange form that, upon close inspection, surprisingly looked like a man.

 _A human_ , he mused, feeling something close to dread forming inside him.

It had been a while, maybe a few decades, since he had seen a man for the last time. The clothes humans wore had apparently changed yet again, which was no surprise. But what surprised him was that the man was sitting on the grass, intently staring at apparently nothing in particular. 

 _How strange_.

He waited some more, seconds turned into minutes. The man hadn’t left, but instead had moved to rest his back on the grass, lying upwards. Curiosity made the sprit’s body move on its own, and he found himself walking towards the strange man with quiet steps until he was a few feet behind him.

“Who’s there?” The man suddenly spoke, and the young spirit flinched. No. The man probably heard some rustling coming from the deepest part of the forest. Men couldn’t see spirits.

He stayed there, observing the man’s back. He had blond, almost golden hair, and was quite big and muscular. He was wearing a white cloth in the upper part of his body, and some strange blue robe that covered both his legs separately.  _Pants,_ he remembered. Hange had told him about them, at some point, probably.  

“I know you’re there," the man spoke again, and the spirit visibly tensed. No, it couldn’t be. He couldn’t be talking to him, right? He stepped back once, then twice, then thrice, planning to get away from the strange man and return to his spot by the tree a bit far from the lake—

“No, don’t leave, please wait.” The man turned around and stood up, moving his head in all directions. Even though the spirit was in his line of sight, the man didn’t seem to have spotted him. Right, of course he couldn’t see him, what was he thinking? He sighed, feeling slightly disappointed, but relieved at the same time. So he turned on his heels to leave, but stopped when he felt movement behind his back and an imposing presence towering right next to him.

“You..." the spirit breathed out before he could stop himself, his voice tense and weak. He had absolutely no idea what to do, it wasn't as if he had ever read a book about how to interact with humans! He didn't even know it was possible! Hange would have been absolutely _thrilled._ "You can see me."

The man was quiet at first, only the sound of the leaves being shaken up by the wind filling the silence. “No, I can’t,” he answered, a tone the young spirit couldn’t quite grasp staining his words. 

What did he mean by that? 

“If you can’t, then how did you know I was here?” He turned around to face the man, aware of how fast his heart was beating, and was surprised to see that he had an eye patch on his left eye.  He wasn’t even looking directly at him, but rather at something in the distance.

“I heard you, I suppose."

The raven frowned as his chest constricted, the gravity of the situation only just now starting to sink in.

There was a human in front of him. A man.

_He was talking to a Human._

The spirit suddenly felt like he shouldn't be talking to him. It was like breaking a rule, a law of nature; humans _shouldn't_ be able to talk to spirits. He felt the urge to run, to get away as far as he could from the unsettling human and forget about him, forget the heavy feeling of curiosity and longing that was slowly consuming him. For the first time in a while, he was _afraid._

Steadying his voice, he said, “you should leave, it’s getting dark. You wouldn’t want to be trapped inside the forest at night, would you?”

The man made a strange sound, probably in agreement. “No, I wouldn't, but what about you? You should also leave. Or do you live here?” The spirit’s eye twitched. 

“Don’t worry about me. Goodbye.” He turned on his heels again, trying to calm his breath. He was determined to get away from the odd man, but was pulled back by his voice. 

“Wait! Can you help me go back? I lost the path I was following, the path to the village, and I don't know how to find it back again.”

As if he wasn't confused enough already, he asked,  “why not?”

He realised how stupid that question probably was, since often many humans lost their way in the forest. But there was something about the man's words that made him feel like he hadn't just lost his way. 

“Because I can’t see,” the human answered, something akin to disbelief staining his words. 

The spirit slowly widened his eyes at the man’s words, his heartbeat rising up. “You can’t?” 

“No," the man paused, and after a moment, cleared his throat. "I’m blind. I thought that was clear?"

The spirit parted his lips slightly, just enough to let a small gasp out. He felt the gears clicking into place in his mind. That explained, well, a lot. It explained everything, really—

— _no_. Not everything.

It still didn't explain how on earth the man could feel him. Because other humans couldn’t, even if they had their sight intact.

“Of course," he breathed out, not really believing or understanding a single bit of what was happening. 

"Could you please help me, then?" The man looked expectantly at the spirit, even if he wasn't exactly looking at _him_ , and waited for an answer.

There it was again, the urge to run. But a deeper, stronger desire inside of him suddenly took over, and without really realising it, he'd started walking towards the path that led to the village. He wasn't even sure if the man was actually following him, but after a while, he heard his footsteps behind him.

"I thought you wouldn't help me," the man whispered, his voice reaching the spirit's ears and breaking the silence of the empty forest, a tinge of smugness in his voice. 

He thought so too. "You should be more grateful I am," he muttered under his breath as he kept on walking, not really expecting an answer. 

The forest was silent again. The only noises that could be heard were coming from the crunching of leaves and the rustling of grass below their feet as the two of them walked through rows and rows of trees, familiar and unique to the young spirit but undoubtedly indistinguishable to a human.

Looking back every now and then, the spirit noted that the man was skilled; he was able to follow him even though he couldn't see where he was going. He stumbled a bit and walked in a weird way though, and every now and then would stop to touch the ground and the trees nearby. Thinking back on what the man had said, the spirit realised that apparently his problem had been losing the path, and not  _not_  being able to follow it, which was admirable considering his obvious impediment. He was skilled alright, and, well, strange.

But that was fairly obvious to him by now. He was a human, after all.

As he walked by, he could see other spirits lingering behind the trees, looking at the rare sight of a spirit walking with a human, and whispering among themselves. They would undoubtedly talk about it for at least a few weeks, and much worse, they would pester him about it.  

It soon turned dark, and the moon joined their walk by tenderly illuminating their path with its silver light. None of them spoke again, preferring to listen to the sweet silence of the night and the quiet cries of the forest.  

The spirit halted when they reached the start of the path that led to the village. “Here we are. You can get to the village on your own, yes?”

The man nodded. "Yes, I can. I don't know how to thank you. I owe you my—” Before the man could finish talking, the spirit turned around and sprinted away into the forest, his heart racing with something he couldn't quite place. Curiosity? Regret? Excitement? Fear? 

All of them, probably.

He ignored the stares of the other curious spirits, and continued running towards his usual spot by the tree a bit far from the lake. As he ran, he could feel his mind twisting and turning, a single thought plaguing his thoughts. 

 _I talked to a human._  

Even if he felt somehow... pleased, he also felt extremely puzzled. How could the man feel him, hear him and talk to him if he couldn’t even see him? Why could he, in the first place?  

It was impossible. It threatened everything he knew, and yet he couldn't help feeling excited. 

Did that mean that there were other humans like him, or was he the only one capable of such a thing?

Maybe he was special. 

It wouldn't matter anymore, though. The raven would probably never see him again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. (It was a bit short, I know, I'm sorry.)  
> I'd really appreciate it if you left feedback!


	2. Golden Sunlight

Through the clear, translucent surface of the blue-green lake, numerous water spirits could be seen swimming around in the depths of a mosaic of colours; the soft blue of the sky, the vivid brown and green of the forest, the tender golden rays of sunlight, the intense red and purple of the flowers, and the pale white of his yukata all forming a picture with a life of its own. Waves of movement distorted its proportions, the colorful canvas becoming a mirror of the reality above water, a reflection of a world that breathes along with all the creatures living in it. As the young spirit approached, the picture became less blue, less brown and green, less golden, less red and purple, and instead became whiter and whiter, until his whole form was in front of the lake and he was staring down at his own pale, ghostly reflection. The yukata was slightly big on him, almost covering his bare feet completely, and the flowery pattern delicately drawn on it stood out against the whiteness of the cloth and of his milky skin. He stood there, contemplating his frowning face as the breeze played with raven strands of hair that lightly hit his face and partially covered his vision.

The sun was still up high in the sky, making it clear that there were still a few hours left before the lake would be painted with a new set of colours, all of them brought by the wondrous sky; until that same sky would stain the colourful picture of the lake with its darkness, darkness that could only be broken by the moon and the stars that always lingered up above the spirit’s head. It was a quiet evening, just like the day before, and the day before that, and the week before, and the month before, and the year before, and the decade before. Evenings were always quiet. Even when he sang, they were still quiet- his singing merged perfectly with the soundlessness of the forest, with the void that urged to be filled with the sweetness of one’s voice. 

 

And just like it had been some days before, the man was there again.

 

The spirit didn’t understand why, knowing he wouldn’t be able to go back to the village on his own. Were all humans that nonsensical? The man had ran into the lake a bit earlier, when the spirit was still gazing at the deep waters. He had stopped in front of the body of water, apparently waiting for something, and after a few seconds flopped onto the grass face-down before closing his eye and falling into a deep slumber. The spirit would’ve thought it was _extremely_ strange, but he had already concluded that whatever _strangeness_ he saw, it wouldn’t be _strange_ coming from the _strange_ man. But still, was he an idiot? How could he walk _again_ into the forest, arrive at the same spot where he had gone lost, and fall asleep in the middle of a place full of creatures that could easily prey on him? If a spirit were to attack him, how would he defend himself?

Not that he was worried for a mere human. Not at all. And it wasn't as if him being there made the spirit happy, no, _not at all._

Not even when the man stayed there, sprawled over the grass in the exact same position for three hours straight, the sun showering over him and giving his blond hair and skin a golden hue. Yes, it wasn’t hard to fall asleep in such a place, where silence reigned over everything and the entirety of the surroundings pulled one to rest, to breathe in the pureness of the air and enjoy the feeling of warmness against one’s skin. Three hours, however…

It was getting dark. Effectively, the lake adopted the beautiful ocher tones of dusk, mirroring the redness of the sky and the orange of the clouds, the gold of the sun shining through the sky and the waters; as that same sun slowly hid under the blurry line of the horizon, before completely disappearing from sight and replacing the intense reds, oranges and purples of dusk with the blacks and silvers of night.

The man was still there. And if his placid sleeping face could serve as a clue, it seemed he wouldn’t be waking up any time soon. The spirit didn’t really know what to do, should he approach him? No, he might wake him up… But wouldn’t it be better if he woke up? No, no, he didn’t want to exchange words with him again… except he did, in fact, because even if he wouldn’t openly admit it, that human had caught his interest. Yes, he was slightly afraid and unsettled, but interested nonetheless.

That was it, though. Nothing more.

Gazing at the obsidian sky reflected on the waters, he allowed himself the thought of leaving the man there. He didn’t know why, but that thought made him feel strangely guilty. 

And then he felt a metallic, heavy smell.

The spirit raised a single thin eyebrow and looked around, at the water spirits that had taken refuge in an underwater cave, at the sky that always witnessed but never told, at the trees that danced with the night breeze, at the lake that now had starry lamps painted all over the waters; and after his eyes had taken in everything there was to see, they returned to the man, and to the wound he had on his right arm. It didn't seem too deep, but it was quite wide, he noted as his heartbeat quickened.    

He wondered what he should do. Leave the man there? Let him die of whatever it was that he was suffering? Let him be eaten by an animal or a spirit?

His skin tingled at the thought. No, he wouldn’t leave the man. He was painfully aware that there was something really wrong with their whole situation, and despite knowing that it would probably be better to just forget it all and leave, he couldn't bring himself to move away from the man. 

Crouching down, the spirit lifted the man’s right arm and threw it over his own shoulders, the blood of the wound staining the long, white sleeves of his yukata. He held it in place with one of his small, pale hands and tried to stand up, but the weight of the human was pulling him down to the ground. _Why on earth is this human so heavy?_ He threw his free arm over the man’s back and held him by the waist as he tried to stand up again, managing to do so but almost falling down in the process. He tried to walk, but it was more as if he was strolling and dragging himself off the ground. The man was so tall that his feet were bumping with rocks and some small animals; his head was hanging to the side, and it seemed like it was about to fall off his neck.

After a while of walking, climbing, and fighting for balance, the spirit arrived at his destination, a hidden, small shrine not too far away from the lake. After he had walked inside, he dropped the man without a second thought, not really knowing what to do with him. A groan pulled him out of his thoughts, and he looked down at the floor where the man had landed, expectancy and excitement starting to grow in his stomach. 

“Wake up, already,” the spirit muttered under his breath impatiently, kneeling down in front of the man, deciding that it would be easier to deal with him if he was awake. 

Rolling over his body so that he was upwards, the blond slowly opened his eye and stared up at the ceiling, before lifting himself up into a sitting position and running his hands through the floor, feeling the cold wooden surface.

“This is not the forest.” 

“Yes, it's not.” The spirit nodded. Immediately after he spoke, the man shifted his head towards him. He had a slightly disturbed expression on his face, as if he were scared. Which was understandable, anyone would react like that after waking up somewhere strange. He should probably explain what happened before the man freaks out.

"You passed out in front of the lake, and you were bleeding. It would be dangerous to stay there, so I brought you here." 

Looking relieved, the man relaxed. "I see, you've got my gratitude, yet again."

"Again?" So the man remembered him. 

"You are the same person who helped me yesterday, aren't you?”

“Oh, so you remember me?”

“Of course I do, it’s only been a couple of days."

Still, how had the man been able to find him again? The first time he had been lost, why wasn't he lost again? 

"How did you find the lake? Didn't you say you couldn't see?"

"I memorised the path; every tree and leaf has a distinct feel. Besides, I followed the sound of your voice." 

"My voice," the spirit repeated disbelievingly, feeling dizzy for a split second. 

"Yes. I could recognise it anywhere, at this point. I'm Erwin, by the way.”

For some reason, he didn't like what that meant. He decided to let it slide and forget about it, though. "Ah, I see you’ve got a name.” The man laughed drily after the spirit's comment. 

“Don’t be so cold, you’re supposed to tell me your name now.”

The spirit raised an eyebrow. “Am I?”

“Yes, you are. That’s how people become acquaintances.” The raven averted his eyes to the side. _People._  

“Yes, _right,_ I wasn't aware of that protocol, _"_ he said said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. After a pause, he continued. “I’m still not giving you my name.”

“Why are you so stubborn?"

“I'm not.” Stepping forward, the spirit sat himself down in front of Erwin, ignoring the slight uneasiness he was still feeling and apparently forgetting that _he had brought a human (and a very, very strange one) into his home_ , before crossing his legs. He noticed the blond tensing up slightly. "I just have no reason to tell you my name."

"Why did you bring me here, then?" 

The raven narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me? How does that have to do with anything?"

"If you don't care at all about me, then why did you help me?" 

He stared blankly at the blond, wondering that same thing. Why did he save him? Why would he take such an interest on a mere human? Whatever the reason, saving someone in danger wasn't that strange, really. It happened all the time on the books he read. "I don't think it's such a strange occurrence. Wouldn't you do the same?" 

“Perhaps, yes," the man replied tensely, before running his hand through his arm. His fingers became stained with a dense liquid that smelt like Iron.  

"Ah, damn. I forgot about this..." the blond cursed silently, and the spirit just watched, before vaguely gesturing towards his wound, "Um, do you have bandages in here?"

"Ah," the spirit distantly remembered Hange making a fuss about a pair she had found one day. "Yes I do. I'll be right back."

He stood up and walked out of the room, coming back after a minute with clean bandages, a bucket of water with a rag, and a transparent bottle with a green liquid inside. He was planning to just hand those things over to the man, but curiosity overthrew him. What... what would it feel like to touch human skin? Even when carrying the man to the shrine, all he had touched was cloth, so he was really dying to know. Would it feel different? 

"I could do it for you, if you wish," the young raven found himself saying.  

Something flashed across the man's face. "That would be greatly appreciated." 

The raven knelt in front of the man and soaked the rag in the water before delicately holding the blond's arm, as if he were afraid of breaking it. He pulled up the sleeve of his shirt, to reveal pale and dry patches of skin that looked as though they had never been touched by sunlight. He proceeded to gently press the rag against the wound and slowly move it, cleaning off the blood. Afterwards, he opened the bottle and poured a bit of the liquid into his hand, but instead of smearing it over the wound he just stared at it.

"Is there something wrong?" The man looked up at the spirit, pulling him out of his trance. 

"No, no." The spirit shook his head. "Nothing's wrong." And so he went on, gently coating the wound with the liquid. The texture felt... familiar. Smooth like that of a fish, but soft like that of a bear. Humans were animals, after all, what was he expecting?

The man suddenly hissed and backed away, but the spirit placed a hand on his back and brought him forward.

“What is that?” 

“It’s a remedy,” he said vaguely, and continued with the work. After making sure the green liquid was smeared all over the wound, he grabbed the bandages and with hesitation started wrapping them sloppily around Erwin’s arm. Hange never mentioned how to put them to use, what was he supposed to do now?!

“You know how to bandage a wound, right?” the man said with something akin to a smirk on his face, picking up on the spirit's hesitation. 

“Of course I do.” The spirit glared at Erwin, but he didn’t react. Oh, right, he was blind.

“If I teach you how, will you tell me your name?”

“No.”  He crossed his arms, dropping the bandage, and turned his head away from Erwin.

“No? Then I guess you’ll have live with the guilt of letting someone die, all because you couldn’t even bandage a poor, wounded man.”

“Shut your mouth, it's not even a deep wound! It's a mere scrape!” The smirk on Erwin's face grew wider. 

“Shh, don't get so riled up," he whispered, searching for the loose end of the bandage with his hand. "Watch carefully.”

The spirit opened his mouth indignantly, but shut it after he watched the blond wrap the bandage around his arm with precision and delicacy, his fingers dancing against the cloth with expertise, almost as if Erwin had spent a lifetime wrapping bandages around body parts in need. 

After he was done, the man straightened himself and extended his legs. "That's how it's done, see? Easy."

"Hmph. I didn't need you to teach me either way." 

Erwin laughed. "If you say so."

He paused, a thought forming in his mind. "Erwin," he tried, the man's name still sounding foreign coming from his lips, "why were you bleeding?" 

Erwin laughed, and rubbed the back of his neck. "I hurt myself with a tree branch and fell downhill."

"Seriously? But why was there so much blood?" the spirit questioned with a raised eyebrow. 

"It was a pretty nasty fall, I guess," he chuckled unabashedly. 

"And why were you passed out in front of the lake?" 

"I fell asleep while trying to wash off the blood, apparently." Erwin smiled softly. The raven's eye twitched. 

"Are you serious," he asked in disbelief. Was the man for real?

"Yes, very much," the blond replied while scratching his head. "It often happens to me. I've got scars all over my body, you see." 

"You say that as if it were something to be proud of."

"Who knows? Maybe it is," he laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Hey, now that we got that out of the way, I'd love to know where exactly we are."

“We're in a shrine. In the forest."

"Do you live here?" He could hear the suspicion in the man's voice.

"Yes."

Narrowing his eyes, Erwin titled his head to the side and looked at the spirit through his lashes. "I like how vague you are." Something about that comment made the raven feel oddly weird. "It's almost mysterious. Especially since you refuse to tell me your name." 

The young spirit silently cursed and shifted on his spot, not really knowing how to respond. The man was becoming stranger and stranger with each passing second, and yet, he couldn't stop feeling curious and enthralled. "I still don't see how that's relevant, especially to you." 

Sighing, the man slowly rose from the ground. "Maybe I should just leave." 

The raven blinked at the man. He watched him stand up and walk over in the direction of a wall, shakily. Before the man could hurt himself, he stood up and pulled him back by the arm. "Stop. You're going to walk straight into the wall." 

The blond halted, and smiled apologetically. “Really?” He chuckled. The spirit released hold of him and closed his eyes. That man was going to get himself killed.

“Maybe you should ask me for help to go back." He didn't realise he had said those words until they left his mouth. Seriously, what was he thinking? Why was he willing to trouble himself by helping him - _this, this weird human-_ again? 

“No. I don’t want to bother you. It’s late and you probably don't want to leave your home.” Well, that was true. He couldn’t let Erwin leave though; he would die, surely. And strangely enough, deep within, the spirit didn't want that to happen. 

“If you don’t want to bother me, then stay here for the night.”

“Are you serious? You couldn't possibly..." Erwin muttered, but looked slightly satisfied. 

"Yes, I am serious," the spirit shot out slowly, and after a few seconds, grabbed the man's arm and helped him return to his previous spot. 

After sitting down, Erwin grinned weirdly. “This is just like a horror novel. A strange, young man leads me into his little home in the forest and asks me to spend the night...  You could be a murderer, for all I know."

"Did you just call me strange?" He huffed, feeling a bit offended. 

"I did. You live here alone, isolated from society. You spend your days in front of a lake, singing. Besides, you take a complete stranger into your house -which is, weirdly, a shrine- and ask them to spend the night. Don't you think that's strange?"

"No, not really, I was born here and there's nothing much to do," he mumbled. "And people tend to get... lost." 

"Hm. You could be right. " Erwin laughed, a smile stretching on his face. "But you know, _I_  could be the murderer.”

The raven gulped, his gut clenching and his pulse quickening. He was feeling this weird _thing_ again, because of the way Erwin was smiling at him.

"You don’t look like a murderer.” 

Erwin cracked another laugh. “How naive of you."

"I'm not naive."

"Sure you aren't." Erwin teased. "How old are you, anyway?” 

What was he supposed to answer? The truth? “I’m some thousand years old.” 

"Excuse me?" Erwin made a strange face, before bursting out in laughter. "That was a very, very bad joke."

The raven narrowed his eyes, slightly offended. "And still, you laughed."

"Bad jokes deserve to be laughed at. But seriously, how old are you?" 

“Why don’t you tell me how old you are, and then I’ll consider answering your question.”

“Hm, and why should I play by your rules?" Erwin smiled playfully. "Alright, I'll indulge you just once. I'm 32."

Holy. Moon. That man was a baby, a mere _seed_. But he looked like an adult. In fact, he even looked older than him!

He exhaled, slowly. "I'm... I'm 24?" 

Erwin fixed him an amused look. “Why did you end that with a question mark?” 

“I...”

"You're the first person I've met who doesn't know how old they are, I feel honoured." 

"Don't mock me!" Even though the spirit sounded angry, bickering with the man was proving to be rather fun. It made him forget just  _who_ he was talking to.

“I’ll stop mocking you if you tell me your name.”

Incredulously, he narrowed his eyes at the blond. “I thought you wouldn’t ask for my name anymore.” He sharply crossed his arms, looking away.

“I never said such a thing, did I?" Erwin grinned at the raven.

The spirit looked over at Erwin, as a small, almost invisible smile crawled its way up into his pale face. “You won." After a hesitant pause, he continued, "I’m Levi.”

The man’s grin deepened into a content smile, one that slowly turned into something akin to an unsettling leer. Suddenly, the spirit felt dizzy all over again.

“ _Levi_...” Erwin whispered, rolling the letters with his tongue in a way that made the spirit feel uneasy, in all the wrong ways. “I like it.”

Damn.

“Yes, yes, _fantastic_." Levi cleared his throat, averting his eyes. "Now... _ah_ , you sleep, yes?”

Scoffing, Erwin crossed his arms. “What kind of question is that?” 

Levi fixed him a look. “A normal one?”

“It’s definitely not a normal one, _Levi_." He felt himself shiver. Why was the man doing... doing  _that_?! He should have never given him his name! "But yes, I do. What, you don’t? Do you have insomnia?"

"No," he supplied simply, not sure what insomnia meant. He was sure Hange would have known. 

“I don't, either. I like sleeping. A lot, actually. I could sleep for ten hours straight and still be sleepy. That reminds me, how long was I asleep?”

“About five hours, I'd say.”

Erwin made a face and closed his eye. “At least I live alone.” 

“What do you mean?"

“When you're alone, no one worries over you.”

“So you live completely alone in the village?”

Erwin nodded, resting his face on his palm and his elbow on his leg. "Yes. I moved here a while ago, and a few days ago I decided to venture into the forest, you know, to explore.”

“Well, that’s something pretty dumb, isn't it?” Levi huffed.

The blond faked a wince. “You’re offending me.”

“Well, you know you’re blind. You got lost, as a result. On top of that, today you made the same stupid mistake. Why did you come back knowing you'd get lost?”

"Hey, I didn't get lost today. I've engraved the path deep within my memory," Erwin pointed out as Levi raised another thin eyebrow. "And I came back because I wanted to see the lake again." 

"Alright, that's understandable. Without taking into account the fact that you hurt yourself. But why would you want to explore the forest in the first place when you’re not able to see?"

“I can use my other senses, you know. I love getting to know the place I'm going to be living in. Why is that strange? Besides, you have to admit that exploring it's pretty exciting, who doesn't like a good adventure?"

"It still sounds stupid."

"Alright, alright, what if I told you I also came to test something the villagers told me?”

“Oh?” That picked the spirit’s interest. Not to say he wasn't interested before. “And what could that be?”

 

It was already midnight. The moon was high up in the dark, starry sky, in the same place where hours before the sun had been gifting the world with its golden light. Behind them, rays of silver moonlight spilled through the window and fell on their faces, making them look more somber, darker; their eyes gleaming with a silver spark that stood out from the darkness of the room. Nothing could be heard save the flutter of leaves being blown away by the wind, the painful howls of lonely animals, and their loud voices filling the emptiness of the night- a silent, lonely night indeed, just like the days before.

(- _But unlike the days before, he didn't feel lonely at all_ -).

 

"It was something very silly, actually." After a pause where both of them enjoyed the sweetness of silence, the blond's lips curled up into a wide, unsettling smile. “They said there were spirits in the forest." 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I hope that wasn't too bad.  
> DON'T WORRY, that was not a cliffhanger. I promise. 
> 
> Ah, and ...Ho-ho, thanks to everyone who left feedback! I'm sorry for taking so long, I spent four days without internet.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please leave kudos/comments if you liked it!


	3. Aureate Starlight

_“Can I ask you a question?”_

The sun was unusually bright and joyous that winter morning, as it swam in the vastness of a cloudy sky that had, only some hours before, been covered by a thick obsidian layer of pure darkness. Colourful birds rose up from their slumber during those early and cold hours of morning, whistling lovely tunes as they jumped from tree to tree and flew to their loved ones' side; sweet, melodious notes accompanying the flapping of their feathery wings, clashing with the distant but loud commotion caused by the cheerful, recently-woken spirits of the forest. The minutes that lay before the rise of the golden orb above the horizon had already gone by; bringing death upon dawn and giving birth to rays of pale sunlight.

 

_The blond  stared off at the void, his uncovered sky-blue orb glowing against the dark as it reflected dim rays of spilled moonlight. “Levi, why are you still here?”_

_The young spirit looked at the man with squinted eyes, trying to read his features. “What do you mean by that?”_

_“Here,” the man gestured around vaguely, and the spirit followed the movement with his eyes. “In the forest.”_

_He sighed. “Why, but isn’t it obvious?"_

 

Dawn, evening, and night, the moments where the forest in its entirety felt as pleasant and wonderful as it had never been- moments where the young spirit forgot that that beautiful, extensive body of trees could be deadly, too. The world surrounding him, all those magistrate creations, were generous and indulgent; the moon, the sun, the starts and the trees, always helping and caring for their creatures. However, that world was surprisingly and achingly calamitous when it felt the need to be. It could be a generous liar, a kind deceiver, a sweet fraud; he knew all those circumstances, but would still be deceived by its beauty, by its wondrousness- by the unjust _fairness_ and uneven _balance_ that hid behind alluring strands of golden life. And despite the forest’s true nature, he still loved it with all his might. That fierce, powerful world that was generous with the ones who deserved it, with the ones it cared for.

It was a strange, ethereal place; full of strange, ethereal creatures. Levi was a projection of the forest- a form of life that was created to its image and likeness. However, even though he was a reflection of the forest, his kind wasn’t like it at all- no, his kind lacked its grandness, wisdom and strength; they were just noble, clever, fun craving and defiant - _sometimes even dangerous-_ creatures who only wanted to taste the flavour of life for all eternity.

_Slowly, almost imperceptibly, (he was sure that if he hadn’t been studying Erwin so attentively, he wouldn’t have noticed), the man’s hand rose to reach up to the back of his head, where it started playing with the string of his eye patch. “Has it?”_

_"Yes,” the spirit breathed out, slowly, starting to feel the cold winter air against his milky skin._

_“Yes," the man repeated, closing his eye and smiling sadly. “Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you resign yourself to stay in a lonely place like this, Levi?”_

_'It was. Very, very lonely. But it isn't lonely anymore', he thought, as a chill ran down his spine."If only it were so easy for me to leave."_

 

Some spirits were lonesome. Just like himself (-No, not really, not _quite_ like himself; not anymore. Not quite like how he used to mask his loneliness with his voice and surround himself with other lonely, humble creatures while now he insisted on spending his days and nights in the company of the strange man-) _._ However, even those other lonely spirits (- _not lonely, together they hadn't been lonely-)_ so alike to him had left- departed to explore new horizons, following the wanderlust, curiosity and inconformity that had caused their exclusion in the first place. Why hadn’t he left, just like the other spirits akin to him? (- _whywhywhy_ -). He asked himself that question every day, but the love he felt towards the forest that had given life to him and in which he had existed for the past centuries was stronger than the curiosity - _stronger than the love, the affection, the memories_ \- buried deep within himself. 

(Strong enough to abandon _them-_

 _No_.

_Forgetaboutthemforgetaboutthem)_

One part of him wanted to explore, to expand his vision of the world and come in contact with new wonders; but the other, much stronger part wanted to stay, keep on serenely glancing at the shiny waters, singing at the skies every night, accompanying creatures that would undoubtedly perish one day or another. 

_“Who knows, maybe it is.” Erwin’s smile widened, but his eyes fell. Levi swallowed a sigh. “Oh? Is something wrong? Your breath is unsteady.”_

_Frowning slightly, Levi stood up from the ground and walked towards the window, stopping in front of it and glancing outside at the obscure mass of darkness being cut through by aureate rays of starlight._

_“It’s a cold winter night,” he supplied simply, sliding the window shut._

_“It is,” the man agreed, running his hand through his hair, parting the strands with his fingers and making some blond locks fall on his face. “Winter nights make me feel empty.”_

 

Not only would the creatures that kept him company perish. Each and every century, the forest would become smaller. And its soul, conformed by the hundreds of souls of its creatures, would become weaker, too. The forest was _dying_. Slowly. Painfully. Imperceptibly to humans, who thought that everything surrounding them would last forever; imperceptibly to the noble, loving spirits of the forest that cherished and treasured the entirety of that mass of pure, condensed life; and even imperceptibly to him, who so keenly devoted his days and nights to observe life’s journey on Earth. 

Was he worrying too much?

Wasn’t everything alive in this world dying? Humans, no- _that_ man, wasn’t that strange man, on the peak of his youthfulness, waiting patiently in the queue in front of death’s door? Weren't all those new leaves and birds and butterflies, brought to life everyday by the gentle caress of the forest, part of the process of decay, of decomposition? Even though with every passing century a part of the forest perished, it would regenerate. It still had millions and billions of years to live, to exist. Was the forest’s soul _really_ weakening? Was it because of all the spirits, of all the creatures that had left? (-Quite the lie he told himself there. He knew he could leave and nothing would really happen, and yet he just _couldn't.-)_ Yes, it was a lie. Even _those_ spirits (- _fo_ _rgetaboutthemforgetaboutthem_ -), those who had snatched their souls away from the core of the forest and wandered off to some unknown lands would be replaced by new young, tender souls. 

Maybe he told himself all those lies because he simply didn’t want to be replaced. Because he didn't want to think of all the things he had lost, to think of the guilt. Because he didn't want to remember cold, amber eyes slowly fading away. Those lies were the anchors that kept him there, docilely waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. If he were to leave, his beloved forest would miss him, wouldn’t it?  Would its creatures miss him? Wouldn’t eternity be even gloomier without him, without his tender voice?  _Wouldn't it?_

 

 _The raven’s eyes remained stuck on the sight outside the window and his lips slowly parted, no sound coming out of them for a moment._ _"It’s cold nights like these that make one’s heart freeze.”_

_The blond huffed as he tilted his head to the side, making more hair fall on his face. “Funny thing, I’ve always felt cold. Empty. But once you learn to accept it, it’s the fullest you’ll ever be.”_

_A small, nostalgic smile made its way up into the spirit’s face as he turned around to face the man, his bare feet screeching against the cool, wooden surface of the floor. “Perhaps you’re not as empty as you think you are.”_

 

Would that man miss him?

(-What a stupid thought. What a stupid feeling. What a stupid spirit he was, of course not; the man would die, soon, so so very soon, _and he wouldn't be able to stop it_ - _)._

 

[-x-]

* * *

 

 

The man’s blue eye shone through the darkness, softly, hauntingly; Levi’s own grey orbs appearing to be more silver than what they really were.

"What?” Confusion, or maybe even fear, was starting to condense into a pit inside his stomach. 

Erwin blinked. And there was that smile, again, before he burst out in laughter. And soon dizziness overtook his body. It was unnerving. "You should've seen your face. Did I seriously scare you? I told you it was silly."

Levi felt dumbstruck. He truly couldn't understand that man. He was a complete mystery, and he kept becoming more of one with every little thing he said.

"No, of course not," he lied, trying to save some face. Why would Erwin bring that up _all of a sudden_ though? "Why would you say something like that anyway?" 

"I don't know, I thought it would be amusing. It's something people often do, especially in the village. They actually pulled that off with me when I first arrived," he shifted his gaze towards nowhere in particular, a thoughtful expression on his face, "though now that I think about it, you're probably familiar with the local legends anyway." 

"Yes, they're very... common here in the forest," he paused for a minute, hesitating, "so you don't believe spirits exist at all?" 

Erwin fixed him another weird look and smirked slightly. "No," he supplied simply as the raven narrowed his eyes, "It's just a legend. Spirits don’t exist." 

The raven’s eyes slowly widened as the words of the blond sunk in. For humans, Levi didn’t exist.

_I don’t exist._

He should've done the connection between men not seeing them and thus not believing in them; it was fairly obvious. But the thought of it felt so odd. All those wonderful creatures, all those lovely souls; they would never be seen by the eyes of men, they would never be acknowledged, appreciated by them. He felt mournful, as if something had just died inside of him. 

Then again, maybe it was better that way. 

"Still, that doesn't make legends any less enjoyable."

"You make no sense." Levi sighed, gripping the sleeve of his yukata. 

"And you only say that now," the man snickered, "care to explain yourself?" 

“You are just so... so ridiculously bizarre and contradicting.”

“Oh?" smirking, the man closed his eyes for a second, "that’s a curious choice of words.” 

“Are you acknowledging your bizarreness?”

“No, I’m simply surprised by your way of thinking.” Erwin paused briefly, yawned, and turned his head slightly away from the raven. “You’re strange too. In a good way.”

Levi breathed out slowly, nervously. This man made him feel so weird, and he had no idea why. “Should that alarm or flatter me?”

“Maybe both.” The raven’s left eye twitched as the man slowly closed his eye before opening it again. Was he trying to stay awake?

“It seems you’re... falling asleep,” Levi concluded. 

“Ah…” Yawning, the man shook his head. “No, I’m not…” 

“Tch. Yes you are.”

“No…” Those were the blond’s last words, before he rested his back against the wall and fell into a deep slumber.

“Really? After having slept for so many hours?” Muttering to himself, Levi stood up from his spot. After dusting himself off, he went to where the man was lying against the wall and stared down at him. “You are  _human_ , after all”.

Levi spent the rest of the night observing the blond’s sleeping form –there was nothing else to do, really- and it was proving to be quite entertaining. The man hadn’t moved at all, managing to stay in the same position all night long (it brought a heavy sense of deja-vu); which made the young spirit stare at him expectantly, waiting for the man to move, shift positions, maybe even fall –he had betted on him falling to the left- and hit his head _… or something._

The man tuning out like that, in the middle of their conversation, was still pretty annoying. He had wanted to keep on talking with him- there were still so many things he wanted to know. Well, it wasn’t like the blond had done it on purpose. 

Now some hours had passed, and the summer sun was up and shining in the sky, spilling rays of warm life over the tender, fertile lands of the earth; pulling all its placid creatures out of their slumber and into the land of the awake. Even the man, who minutes before seemed to be so soundly and profoundly asleep, had now started to regain his consciousness. He stirred, groaned, and slowly opened his eye, only to close it immediately after because of the bright light spilling through the windows.

“Why… is it so… bright?” he managed to say between yawns, as he lifted his palms up to shield himself from the light.

“Summer mornings are usually this bright.”

Groaning again, the man leaned forward. He extended his legs, lifted up his arms and stretched out, making some really painful cracking noises in the process. _Are human bodies supposed to make those kinds of noises?_ “Ah… Much better. I can’t believe I slept against a wall. When I turn 40 I’ll be a sickly old man with back problems.”

Right. He would age, lose all vitality, and then die. Levi shuddered at those thoughts, and plainly said, “That sounds terrible.” It came out more sarcastic than he intended. 

“Oh? You should be worried, too. You’re also going to be a sickly, bald and deaf old man one day.”

 _Yes, except that I won’t._ “Yes," he slowly said, "but I don’t think that’ll be happening any time soon.”

“Of course it won’t, we’re still very young.”

Levi hummed in response, staring off to the side. He was slightly distracted, thinking about everything that had happened so far. 

He had offered the man to spend the night in his home, but he didn’t know what he was trying to accomplish anymore. Was he so desperate about finding more about humans that he had cured that man’s wound and let him sleep in his home? Well, men were so intriguing that all those nuisances were probably worth it. Especially because by allowing the man to be there, he had the opportunity to interact more with him- something that he would have never thought possible. Everything he knew about humans he had read, was told of, or had deduced by observing them from a distance. But now, he would be able to decide whether it was true or not by himself. A rare chance, yes, but he would take advantage of it. And in the process, he would find out more about that man in particular- that man with the strange eye patch and the unsettling atmosphere surrounding him. 

Focusing his attention back on the man, Levi noted he was quietly resting his head against the wall and playing with his golden locks of hair, twirling them around his fingers. After some more twirls, the man lowered his hand and touched the bandages on his right arm, before starting to unwrap them.

“What are you doing!” Quickly, the spirit ran off to the man and took hold of his hand. “You’re not supposed to take them off yet.” 

Erwin blinked at the spirit’s reaction, a satisfied smile slowly creeping into his face. “Oh, I’m sorry, I had no idea," he said, but Levi could clearly tell he was lying. That man knew more about wounds than he cared to tell. Then what was he trying to accomplish?

Levi eyed him weirdly. “Whatever. How are you feeling?” 

“Fine, I’m just a bit thirsty.”

“Well then,” Levi muttered as he gave a step back and then walked towards the door, making the floor creak after each step he gave.

“Where are you going?” the man asked at the spirit’s retreating form.

Levi fixed him a look of slight irritation. “To get some water, obviously.” 

Soon enough, he walked back in with a small wooden pot full of water and sat next to the man, before placing the pot on the man’s extended palm.

“Thank you, really. Where did you get this from?”

“There’s a well not so far from here."

"How far?" He asked, lifting the pot to his lips and taking a sip. 

"Let's just say, not very far. It's closer than the lake."

"Hm, the lake..." the man breathed out, a placid look on his face. "It's beautiful in there, isn't it?" 

Raising an eyebrow, Levi made a face of confusion. "How would you know?"

"That's quite offensive, Levi." Said spirit flinched at the sound of his name. He would really never get used to it. "Just because I can't see doesn't mean I can't appreciate beauty. The feeling of the sun on your skin, the wonderful smell of flowers and honey, the breeze playing with your hair..." He stopped for a moment, contemplating something, before smiling contentedly. "What I love the most is the sound of that lovely, melodious voice of yours, filling every corner of the forest and warming up the heart like the sun has never done." 

The spirit felt himself flushing. 

“How poetic of you," he muttered, his voice sounding smaller and less mocking than he'd intended. 

“I'm not joking, you know." He paused for a second, smiling fondly. "I didn't know what to do. But then I heard this harmonious, sweet voice coming from the clearing. I was so glad to find another person in the middle of so much nature." 

"Oh, I see," he said awkwardly. 

"I followed it without really thinking," Erwin added as an afterthought and made a contemplative face, frowning slightly, as if he couldn't comprehend it. "Your voice is... alluring."

Levi felt confused. He couldn't process what he was feeling, but he didn't like it. Or did he? He didn't even know. It was scaring him.

"You've managed to seducethe entire forest, haven't you?" the blond cracked a smile before continuing, "myself included, apparently." 

Levi's lips parted slightly. He knew the man was joking, but it still made his guts feel so... so _heavy_ , and he was positive his face was as red as the dry blood on his yukata. No one had ever complimented him like that, especially about his voice. He knew the forest liked listening to him, but receiving praise from someone - _a human, on top of it_ \- was different, and it was starting to feel less scary and more satisfying... in a strange way.   

"I..." he finally muttered, gulping, not really knowing what to say. "I don't think-" 

He was cut off by Erwin's laugh. "Just take the compliment, Levi."

He made a strangled noise in response. 

"And by the way, those songs were pretty old fashioned. I’ve never heard them before.”

“They're... local songs. I used to sing them with the others when I was younger.”

"Who are the others?”

Levi cursed at his slip, and averted his eyes. “People who've left.”

"Ah, ghosts," Erwin smiled without elaborating, but there was something different about that smile. It was softer, smaller, almost sad. "I know, why don’t you sing something for me?”

Levi closed his eyes, feeling suddenly really empty, the faint memory of a long-forgotten song playing distantly, brokenly in his mind. 

 

_Fill my heart with song_

_And let me sing for ever more_

_You are all I long for_

_All I worship and adore_

 

"I don't think I could."

Shaking his head, Erwin's smile widened. "Oh, I'm sure you could. You just don't want to."

The young spirit was beginning to get a grasp of the feeling he got when the man spoke like _that_. It was as if his body was screaming at him to run, telling him he was in danger; a feeling close to fear, but not quite. It was thrilling. 

"Maybe you're right." 

"I hope that one day I'll be wrong." 

Levi didn't really comprehend the entirety of the man's comment -which contributed to his unsettling aura- but he let it slide. The early summer morning was coming to an end. The sun had populated the sky, and it was shining even stronger than before, bringing peace to the world. The commotion of the other spirits was just about to start. Erwin would undoubtedly hear it. 

There were still so many things he didn't know about the man, things he couldn't explain and deeply unsettled him, but with each second it mattered less and less. He realised that he genuinely enjoyed the man's company; he was funny and intriguing.  _And scary,_ he reminded himself. Probably that thrill he felt was another reason why he found himself drawn to him. He still wasn't sure why Erwin frightened him so much though- It was completely ridiculous, since he knew humans couldn't even get close to harming spirits. 

“It's getting late. Don’t you need to go back to the village?”

Scoffing, Erwin crossed his legs. “Are you throwing me out?”

“No, no I’m not. I was just wondering.”

“Well, I don’t need to, really. I don’t have a job per se, not since I moved here.”

“Then what do you do everyday?"

Erwin smiled, as if he had been waiting the whole time to answer that question. "I write. It's more like a hobby."

"You write?" The man's smile widened, little wrinkles forming around his eyes, a genuine smile that Levi had never seen on the man before. It reminded him of the way young, light-blue orbs shone when the ocean was mentioned, of the way a wild mop of brown hair would bounce up and down wildly in excitement, of the way amber eyes would lit up after a new discovery. It reminded him of  _home_. 

He shook those thoughts away. 

“Yes, though I'm planning on finding a job soon."

"Why do you write then?" Thinking of the books he had read, of the stories about distant, magical lands, of all those wondrous and brave heroes, he couldn't help wondering about the content of Erwin's writings. Hange would have been so exited to meet someone like Erwin. 

"Why? Just _because_!" he laughed, sending Levi an odd look. "It's like asking you why you sing!"

Huffing, he crossed his arms. "I do have my reasons for that."

"Oh?" the blond raised his eyebrows in amusement. "And what might those be?"

"Shut up. I asked you first."

Sending him a disbelieving grin, Erwin narrowed his eyes. "So that's a protocol you do follow, huh? Conveniently selective, are you?" 

"Yes, actually, I am," Levi remarked sarcastically and rolled his eyes, letting on a smirk, "and I'm also _very_ demanding." 

"Alright, alright, _princess,_ " the man half-mocked, a pleased grin on his face. "Writing saturates me, in all the good ways. It helps me remember, and it helps me forget."

Levi was confused, to say the least. "How can that be? You're contradicting yourself." 

"Maybe I am, does it matter?" he replied softly, in a more serious voice. "I've always loved things a little too much. Thins that are long gone."

 _I know what you mean_ , he wanted to say, but couldn't find the voice. "Isn't it pointless anyway? You can't do anything about it," he said instead, hating himself for it. 

"That isn't entirely true. I can write, _ergo_ ," he smiled gingerly, as if he was sharing a secret with Levi, "I can keep them all alive." 

 

_I never told you those three words._

_Maybe you were right, we all love a little too much._

_We face away from the truth; we worship tragedy._

_And as tragic as death might seem,_

_It's even more tragic that you'd never belong to me._

 

Sighing, Levi crawled closer to Erwin and rested his head against the wall.

"If only everything could stay that way for all time." 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> ... I also really hope it wasn't confusing. (Just to be clear, this time, the whole part at the beginning was a time-skip to the future. The first lyrics are from the song 'Fly me to the moon'. 
> 
> Please leave feedback if you liked it!  
> And I won't make any promises, but i'll try [mind you, I said try] to post the new chapter as soon as possible.


	4. Summer Mornings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy lord, I'm literally back from the dead. I'm SO FREAKING SORRY I took like what, a year? Oh God.
> 
> Now that I'm back, I absolutely promise I'll update each month. I just... I was in the middle of my last year of high school and so many things happened. Now I'm in college, and even though I'm busier, I have a newfound motivation to write. And it's not like I don't have free time.... 
> 
> **Important!** : I slightly rewrote things in the past chapters, especially in the third. So I'd advise you to read from the start! Also, sometimes I don't say whose POV it is, so read carefully because I always throw in clues, like the character's hair colour or skin. Also, time-wise, I throw clues regarding the season or the climate, because the story is constantly alternating between past, present and future...Sorry if it's confusing lol 
> 
> Anyways, Enjoy!

He had never liked rain.

 

( _It was because of loneliness._ )

Maybe it was because of the saddened sky, drowning the world with tears that came pouring down from the heavens; like a reflection of his somber, drenched face. Maybe it was because of the wetness of clothes clinging uncomfortably to his skin, the feeling of his blond hairs sticking against his neck, the mud taking residence in his shoes, and worst of all, the realisation that he could get completely soaked to the bone and it would still make _no difference_. There had never been anyone out there who'd worry about him, who'd scold him for never remembering to carry an umbrella, who'd wrap him in warm blankets, give him hot chocolate and cuddle with him in front of the fireplace.

Rain carried the scent of loneliness.  
 

( _It was because of regret._ )

Rain was beautiful. He felt like a masochist, sometimes. It was like admiring the beauty of death. It was not the rain's fault but his, and perhaps that was what enraged him the most. 

It was unfair. 

He looked at the world through grey, misty layers. He felt like an empty room, full of dirty, smelly clothes. Those feelings were the bitter proof of all the decisions he made in the past, of all the possibilities that slowly faded away, of all the  _ifs_  and  _maybes_ that drowned him. 

He was always surrounded by the fragrance of regret. 

  
( _It was because of guilt._ )

The sound of raindrops softly hitting the ground muffled but couldn't completely cover the screams of the miserable. That sound followed him everywhere. It was a curse. Caring, that is. He fell in love with love, he breathed the poetry of empty, wretched hearts. Just like his own, or so he wanted to believe. 

He remembered distantly the voice of a weeping child, the sobs of a dying woman, the tired visage of an old man. He remembered the screams of a father after his daughter's last breath, the broken voice of a sister holding her brother's hand. Most of all, he remembered the laments of a man too young to hold the pain of the world on his shoulders.

It felt so distant, so alien, as if it had been something he lived in a dream. He cared way too much, or perhaps too little? He let everything slip away; a sad resignation. Like droplets sliding down through his skin into the land of the forgotten. 

He was followed, everywhere, by the perfume of guilt.  

 

But above all, it was because of love. He'd give anything to curse that little, miserable word. To erase it from existence, to let it slip away like the rain currently sliding down his body. 

But without it, what would he have?

Nothing, absolutely nothing. 

 

 

[-x-]

* * *

 

"It's been a while." 

The man looked up, following the soft voice of the person standing next to him. He smiled after a moment. "It has." 

The sun was shining brightly, its rays piercing the souls of every living creature on the ground, giving them back the vigour that the night had snatched away from them. The wind was blowing softly, and the trees were whistling spiritedly, accompanying the lovely voices of the birds. Summer mornings were simply beautiful. They were even prettier on days like these, when the sun illuminated the entirety of the Earth, without leaving a single shadow uncovered. It had been a while since such a day had been seen. Despite being in summer, there had been a whole week of winter-like days, filled with the distinct smell of humidity and dampness. 

For days and days, it had rained non-stop. It was as if nature had gone mad, because even after such heavy rains, the summer sun would always rise and shine as if the clouds had never stolen the spotlight. 

"And yet, here you are again." The spirit sighed, looking over at the lake. This was the third time he encountered the man there. After he had left the last time, saying he did have things to do in the village, Levi had been expecting to meet him again, but the man never showed up. He didn't think much of it, but somewhere inside, he felt strangely sad. He also felt afraid. Of what? He really wasn't sure, or so he wanted to believe. He didn't want to admit that he was probably afraid of never seeing the man again. Now he realised that had been true, because of the great relief he felt after spotting his golden frame sitting in front of the water and staring at the void. 

"You say that like it bothers you," the man noted, turning slightly around to face him properly, "though I'm not sure if you're bothered to see me, or if it's the opposite." 

Levi swallowed a cough. "It was neither." And after a pause, he asked, "did something happen in the village?" 

Erwin looked strangely proud, as if he was waiting for Levi to ask that. "Oh, were you worried? You missed me, didn't you?" 

This time, Levi almost choked. "No," he quickly shot, as the blond raised an eyebrow, "of course I didn't." 

"Hm? If you say so." That proud look was still on the blond's face. Levi found it slightly irritating. _Of course_ he didn't miss him! "And not necessarily. I found a job, so I've been busy. Besides, it's been... too rainy."

Well, that was true. Going out in such a weather was probably a very bad idea for the man, but not for Levi. He actually loved rain, he felt there was so much of him in the way it graciously fell from the generous skies, singing a melody of its own as it slips away into the heart of the Earth.

"A job? What kind of job?"

"I work at the local hospital now." 

"Are you a doctor?" Erwin smiled, but there was something painful, _oh so very painful_ in the way his eye gleamed. 

"No, how could I? Remember?" He waved his hand in front of his eyes, signalling something that was terribly obvious. Levi felt dumber than ever. "I'm a receptionist. I can handle computers with just my voice, it's nothing really hard." 

Levi decided to ignore all the words he didn't know. "I see. But why did you come back? Didn't you say you were busy?"

Erwin pretended to be thinking over something, and stared off to the side. "Should I tell you the long or short version?" 

"Either one, as long as it's true." 

The blond smirked at him, as if it was terribly obvious. "I think I told you before, didn't I? I really like this clearing. It's so calm and quiet; the perfect place to think. There's always time for something so beautiful." 

Levi found himself silently agreeing with the man's statement. 

"And also," the man trailed off, focusing back on the spirit, "I may have wanted to meet you again." 

A sound of surprise escaped the raven's throat, and he felt dizzy all over again. "Why?" 

Erwin laughed, his deep voice echoing across the clearing. "I said it before. There's always time for something so beautiful." 

The spirit flushed crimson. How dare he say such ridiculous things? "Stop with the nonsense. You don't even know what I look like."

Erwin smirked at him, rising his eyebrows. "Who said anything about your appearance? Oh, did you think I was complimenting you on that?" 

This time, he flushed because of embarrassment and humiliation. The man was flat-out mocking him! "This- this isn't amusing!"

"Come on, you know what I meant," Erwin raised his palms, the smirk still on his face, "your voice is probably the most beautiful sound I've ever heard."

Levi could only gape at that. "Besides, what's wrong with wanting to see you again? I feel like I finally made a friend." 

The sound of protest he meant to make died out in his throat. Erwin considered him his _f_ _riend_. Why did it affect him so much? He had friends. A flash of amber appeared in his mind-

 _-No_.

Not _them._

He thought of the lake, yes, the trees, the lovely creatures of the forest. All of them, _they_ were his friends. However... he always felt like there was something missing.

He had always felt lonely. 

"Nothing." Slowly, Levi stepped closer to the man and then sat down next to him, crossing his legs and placing his hands on his lap. "Nothing at all." 

"I thought so."

The early summer morning was coming to an end. The sun was shining stronger than ever, and the sky was a beautiful shade of blue. No clouds could be seen lingering around, which meant that the weather would be good. The trees were dancing silently with the wind, and the water of the lake was reflecting the deep blue of the sky, turning it into an ocean of wonders.

The clearing was far from the place where all the spirits used to gather, so it was one of the quietest places of the forest. Although the commotion would still be heard, it would be very far away. 

"You know, I've been meaning to ask, what do you do every day? Do you have a job?" 

Levi slowly blinked, trying to think of something. He did nothing, truthfully. He just wandered about, singing, longing. "I don't..." he started, but then the image of the shrine popped up in his mind. "I'm the keeper of the shrine," he said. It was a half-lie, of course. No one kept the shrine, it had been abandoned centuries ago. Spirits avoided such a melancholic place, but Levi liked to linger around. To call it his home, even though it wasn't. Or maybe it was, by this point. How could he know? He just felt there was something that tied him to that place, as if he had a part of it somewhere inside him, as if they had been made from the same earth.  

"Ah, the shrine where you took me the other day. Your home, was it?"

The spirit hummed in response. 

"Oh? And are you the only keeper?" 

"Yes." 

"Isn't it lonely? Keeping and caring for it all by yourself..." 

Exhaling slowly, Levi remembered the long-forgotten stories of a time when the shrine was supposedly full of both spirits and people celebrating the joys of existence, a time when brilliant strands of golden life could be seen coming out of every corner, out of every smile. Now there were only shadows.

_Yes, it is. It is very lonely._

"I suppose so." 

"And do you know if someone else lives around here?"

"No. Only me."

"That's unbelievable. There must be more people living in this forest. I can hear voices, sometimes."

Of course Erwin would notice that, he probably heard the voices of the boisterous spirits that disrupted the peace of the forest every morning. 

"Maybe, but I think they're people from other nearby villages." 

"You're probably right, but I can't imagine you being the only person here."

"I've been alone all this time. Maybe there are one or two people, but I've never seen them." 

Narrowing his eyes, Erwin leaned backwards and rested the weight of his body on his arms. "Really? Alone, all this time? But you said there used to be others."

Levi made a strangled noise. The man was way too sharp. "Yes. I've been alone for the past years, but it feels like a long time."

"What happened to the others, then?"

"This forest is generous," Levi whispered, turning his head towards Erwin, "but they yearned too much for something they could never get." 

 

  
_"Hey, Levi? Have you ever seen the ocean?"_

_The older spirit looked to the side. Bright, sky-blue eyes stared back at him. "Of course not. Why do you ask?"_

_"I read about it yesterday. From a human book Hange lent me. An actual human book, can you believe it?"_

_"Did she really lend it to you?" the raven raised an eyebrow, "I thought she didn't want you kids touching her things."_ _The blond looked down at the floor in shame, and the gears clicked in the raven's mind. "You took it from her without asking, didn't you?"_

_"Yes..." the child spirit confessed shamefully, "please don't tell her! I promise I'll give it back!"_

_"Alright, alright, I won't." Levi smiled softly, "but why are you so interested in the ocean?"_

_"I just thought it was very beautiful. I'd love to see it with my own two eyes, one day."_

 

Levi blinked slowly. The man parted his lips, an unspoken question lingering on his tongue, but closed them after a few seconds. Levi knew that the man wanted answers. He could see it, he could see the glimmer of curiosity and suspicion shining in his eye. 

"And yet, you stayed behind." 

"I did," he replied, letting a slightly sad tone lace his words.

Erwin suddenly laughed, although it was a tense, dry laugh, making the spirit look up at him with a confused scowl. Why was he laughing? What he had just said wasn't remotely funny-

"I know it's not funny," the man clarified before the spirit could voice his concern. "I laughed because something similar happened to me. But I was the one who left."

Levi didn't really know what to say, so he stayed silent. The conversation had turned somewhat depressing.

Erwin apparently sensed the shift in atmosphere, because he decided to let himself fall on the grass, laying there for a few minutes before speaking again. "How do you care after yourself?"

"What exactly do you mean?"

"For example, where do you get food from?"

Spirits didn't need food, or sleep, or water. But of course a human would be concerned for such things. "We're surrounded by fertile lands. Food is the least of my concerns." 

"Fair point."

"What about you? How do you care for yourself?" 

Laughing, Erwin placed his arm over his forehead, shielding himself from the blazing sun. "This conversation has turned against me, how unfortunate."

"I'm serious. You live alone too, don't you?"

"Yes. It's not that hard to take care of myself, but sometimes it gets really lonely."

"Haven't you met more... people? In the village?"

"I have. But they're not company, not really."

Levi wanted to say that he understood, but settled for something simpler: "I see."

"I have a dog, though." 

"A dog? Why, do you like them?"

"Not really, but it would be troublesome if I didn't, don't you think?"

"Hm, yes," the raven nodded in agreement after thinking it through. 

Far, far in the distance, the loud voices of the happy spirits celebrating the birth of the day could be heard. The sun was in its highest point in the sky, and the wind was furiously blowing his raven strands of hair. He saw the man closing his eyes and smiling placidly, probably enjoying the warmth that the sun had to offer. Minutes passed, silence reigning over the clearing. Erwin probably was falling asleep.

Levi let his eyes wander over the man's tranquil face, from his golden hair, to his slightly parted lips, to his covered eye. Ever since the first time they met, he had been wondering what was under that strange eyepatch. Silently, without really thinking it through, Levi leaned closer to the man, placing a hand on the ground next to his face for support and hovering over him. Slowly, tentatively, he reached for his covered eye. If only he could take a look at what was under-

Suddenly, the man opened his eye, but stayed still. For a moment, Levi just stared down at him without moving a muscle, but then remembered that the man was blind and relaxed.

"Hey."  

Yelping, Levi fell backwards and landed on the ground with a thud. Erwin immediately cracked up in laughter and sat up. "Are you alright?"

Levi sat up quickly, trying to save face. "Yes." 

Erwin swallowed another laugh. "What were you trying to do?" 

"N-nothing," Levi assured, trying to sound convincing. He knew he'd failed miserably. 

"You sure?" 

"I thought you were asleep." 

"I wasn't," the blond chuckled, running a hand through his hair, "though if you hadn't done that, I probably would've been." 

"How did you know I was..."

"Hovering over me?"

The spirit blushed slightly. When the man put it like that, it sounded quite embarrassing. "Yes." 

"If you're gonna do that to someone, make sure you don't breathe all over their face." 

Groaning, Levi ran a hand through his face. He quickly thought of something to say. "I only wanted to check on your wound."

"Did you really have to get that close for it? Are you sure you weren't trying to do something else?" he mocked, suppressing another laugh, as Levi glared at him.

"Stop that, I can't see, but that doesn't mean I can't feel how you mentally mutilate me with your eyes." 

He tried to stop the smile threatening to creep up into his face but couldn't and ended up snorting. "Alright, whatever, just answer."

"You were right, you are quite demanding," he laughed before continuing, "and well, it healed days ago. It was really nothing. Thank you for worrying." 

Levi merely muttered a silent response and stared off at the sky. It was already midday, and the far-off voices of the other spirits were slowly dying out. Suddenly, the man's stomach made a growling sound.  

"Hey, Levi? It's lunchtime. Would you like to go to the village and eat somewhere? I know a place where they have the best sweets in town." 

  
  
  
" _Levi, Levi!" an excited, lively voice shouted from behind him, "look what I found!"_

_Turning around, he sighed upon spotting a mop of messy brown hair. "What is it?"_

_"A human candy!" the younger spirit exclaimed, waving it in the air in front of the raven, his blue-green eyes shining beautifully, "don't tell Hange I found one, she'd surely steal it from me! What do you think it tastes like? I've heard it tastes very sweet!"_

_Levi rubbed his temples, feeling a bit tired. "I don't know. Why don't you try it out?" He turned on his heels to leave, but was stopped by a small hand._

_"Don't, please,"  the young spirit pouted, a small blush decorating his cheeks, "_ _I... wanted to share it with you."_

_Levi's eyes slightly widened and he smiled softly._ _"Silly child. Fine, if that's what you want."_

"Levi, are you alright?" The man asked, and the spirit blinked.

 _No, I'm not_. "Yes."

"You suddenly spaced out." 

"Ah." 

Erwin looked slightly worried, but shrugged it off after a few seconds. "Would you like to go, then?" 

"I..." Levi trailed off, trying to think of an excuse. "The village..." 

"You don't like going to the village?"

He made a nervous grimace. "Something like that." 

"Why not?"

Damn. "I don't really go there... often." 

The man raised an eyebrow. "You've never gone there in the first place, have you?"

Why was the man so sharp? "How did you know?"

"I didn't," he smiled proudly at the spirit before shrugging, "I only guessed, and you just confirmed it."

Levi groaned.

"Seriously, why does everyone fall for that simple trick?"

Levi was starting to get used to feeling stupid in the presence of the man. It wasn't fair. "You cheated."

"How's that considered cheating? You're just upset." The man laughed, standing up. "I've got to take you there, then. Come on, I'll pay." 

Levi shook his head. Even though Erwin couldn't see him, he was sure the man would understand. "I'm sorry." 

He saw that again, the glimmer of curiosity and suspicion in the man's eye. This time, he could see disappointment, too. 

Slowly, the smile on the man's face fell, and he sighed. "Strange one, why are you such a mystery?"

The spirit frowned at the nickname the blond had apparently given him. "I feel like we already went through this." 

"Come on, I'll never stop thinking you're strange. Though I told you I liked that, remember?"

"I remember. It's become a little tiring."

"Maybe a bit, but it will never get old, don't you agree?" 

Levi huffed, crossing his arms, and stared up at the man from the ground. "That might be true. Though you're the strange one."

"I'm really not. If only I was strange and interesting," he made a fake pout, sighing exaggeratedly, "I'm so ordinary, you see." 

Levi snorted. _Sure._ "Keep telling that to yourself and it might become true."

"Ha, maybe I will," Erwin smiled once again, solemnly. "I'll see you around, Levi. Perhaps we can go to the village some other time." 

  
   
  
" _Are you sure about this, Levi?" The brunette's voice was desperate, mournful. "Is this really what you want?"_

_"Yes." He closed his eyes, slowly. "I can't do what you ask of me."  
_

_"Those two don't even know you decided to..." she trailed off as she looked away, sighing. "You know what this means?"_

_He felt like drowning._ _"I know. I know it perfectly, Hange. Tell them I'm sorry."  
_

_Amber eyes sharply shot up at him, a furious, cold rage contained in their vastness. "Oh, so you can't even tell them yourself?"_

_He choked a whimper, shaking his head._

_"Well, then," she whispered as she turned around, her voice hitting him like a cold, winter night, "perhaps we'll se each other again, some other time."_

_He agreed silently as he watched her leave.  
_

  
  
  
"Yes," the spirit breathed out with a sad smile, "perhaps some other time." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to clarify that the first part was solely Erwin's POV. After the skip, it was all Levi's POV. The little parts that are in cursive in this chapter are memories of Levi's past. I hope it's clearer now.
> 
> So I'm sure this is pretty obvious but Levi is like 1000% times more polite than in canon and isn't as rude, but that's just because he's a spirit. He's supposed to be graceful and simple-minded, though I'm trying my best to surround his character with a clear 'canon-Levi' aura. If you have any idea how I could improve his characterisation, I'd love to hear some feedback!
> 
> And... sigh, I know it's probably weird that the cultural clash isn't more distinct between Erwin and Levi, but that would just make things too complicated. Levi knows how to read, and how to listen. (Levi has read quite a lot, thanks to Hange lol). It wouldn't be weird for spirits to know some things about the language or culture of humans, even though they really don't know much about them.
> 
> Okay, I'll give a virtual cookie to whoever makes the most accurate guess about what the hell is going on haha.. Come on guys, I like hearing what you think. Besides, who doesn't want a cookie?
> 
> (One last thing: Yeah, If you noticed the one sided ereri, kudos to you lmao)


End file.
